Do you know your grandparents? Better still, your great-grandparents? I don’t mean the iconic figures reputed for warm food and comfort during the holidays, but the real people. Have you taken the time to really know them? Too often in our modern, busy world we know very little about these amazing people. It’s a shame, given that without their efforts you wouldn’t even be reading this article.

Last week we called my grandmother to see how she was doing and, since she acts as the repository of our family’s history, to catch up on the happenings of our relatives. Like many folks of a bygone era, the tone of the early conversation was quite formal, but over time the formality faded and we talked as two friends. While listening to the roll-call of family activities, I realized, sadly, that one day she would not be here. And then who could I trust to pass on the knowledge of our ancestors and the quirky tidbits of my own mother’s childhood? I felt fear as I realized that when we pass, we become little more than a name to most of our family members. How could I prevent this tragedy?

A simple solution exists: an autobiography. I proposed it to my siblings and they enthusiastically agreed – especially since my grandmother’s age made time a real factor.

Autobiographies of famous people are ubiquitous, but few exist about “regular” people. While reading about world leaders and international jetsetters satisfies curious interests, nothing inspires so much as the life story of my grandmother’s challenges and triumphs. Imagine my awe as I read about her, a single mother, working for the military in Panama in the 1940s. She had an inexplicable thought that she needed to go home immediately, and when she arrived she found her two toddlers locked in the house – the babysitter nowhere to be found – with loose papers scattered about them. The story takes a frightening turn – one that literally threatens my existence – when she explains that the lights in the house were fueled by highly flammable kerosene oil.

Such stories would be lost forever if they aren’t recorded. But how do you start such a seemingly daunting task as writing an autobiography of the revered patriarch of your family?

Research is the first step. The best method is to create a graph (on paper or a computer) representing the life of your subject divided into seven-year blocks. (If he or she is 95 years old, you’ll need fourteen blocks.) For each block, think of ten to twenty questions related to that seven-year window that you’d like to ask. Start by asking easy questions such as where he or she was born and the circumstances of the birth. What memories of their parents do they have? Simple questions work as ice-breakers, and in a short time you’ll be discovering facts and stories more interesting to you than any book from a big bookstore. Your goal is to make your subject feel comfortable sharing life stories and talking as a friend rather than as some perceived pillar of the family.

To facilitate research and aid the stream-of-consciousness of your subject’s tales, invest in a recording device (a cheap cassette recorder and blank cassettes work just as well as a fancy digital gizmo) that can hold twenty to fifty hours of material. While such large capacity may seem excessive, remember that you are about to chronicle an entire person’s life, so one hour per year is really not much.

Once your research is completely recorded, it’s time to put the book together. Find a local transcription service, because you don’t want to risk losing forever your irreplaceable recordings (not to mention all your hard work) in lost mail. You’ll also want to find a ghostwriter who can craft the tales into an interesting book (found easily on sites such as craigslist.org or at a local college where starving academics are ready to help for modest payment). Add some pictures of your subject and significant people in his or her life, making sure to represent the different life stages (remember your seven-year blocks).

Once you’ve created your galley proof (essentially), find a reputable self-publisher. We have been pleased with www.instantpublisher.com, from whom you can get as many as twenty-five copies with nice bindings for under $600.

Creating a written history of your relative provides great enjoyment for the whole family, and the copies make excellent family gifts for holidays. Perhaps the greatest gift comes from the permanent tribute to an undeniably significant person in all of your lives. Honoring their achievements and sharing their lessons will benefit your entire family, including those members who have yet to arrive.

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