Sunday, November 02, 2008
Fear is a persistent and insatiable guest who is always looking for something to eat.
Today's financial headlines and emotionally charged news stories provide a banquet
feast for fear.
The more fear is fed the bigger it grows. The bigger it gets, the more overwhelming
and devouring it becomes. As it inflates, fear bullies us into feeling too vulnerable and
victimized to do anything about it.
Like most bullies, fear does not have any real power. Though loud and intimidating,
fear is powerless to do anything but scream in our ear and shake up our system.
Fear only has power to the extent that we allow it to run our lives.
Keep feeding fear and soon it becomes so obese nothing else can live in your house
not love, not happiness, not friendship - Nothing. You can barely think as terror reigns
over your estate of mind and body. What can you do?
First realize that fear is a built in alarm system that comes with the house. You cannot
get rid of it. You can put it on a low negativity diet and get it down to a reasonable size.
I'm not suggesting a starvation diet. I am suggesting balancing a reasonable serving of
speculative, negative news with heavy servings of reality check.
Fear will also feed on the negativity of others. If you can't get close to the negativity
without feasting on it, then cut back on your contact. As you feel stronger, you can begin
to influence those conversations. I'm reminded of Socrates, who when confronted with
gossip would ask three questions. First, “Is what you're going to tell me true?” If the
answer is no, then he would ask, “Is what you're going to tell me good?” If that answer
is no, he would ask a third question, “Is what you're going to tell me useful?” If the person
said no to all three questions, Socrates would ask, “Why would you tell me something that
is not true, good or useful?”
When the alarm system in your house turns into a raving bully, you may need outside
forces to get back in control. Find an experienced professional counselor or coach who
can support you in confronting the bully of fear and resetting your alarm system.
Be aware! Fear is in the House with a ravenous appetite. Don’t allow it to feast at the table
of scarcity, negativity, anger, resentment and powerlessness. Limit its diet to low servings
of negativity balanced with enriched reality check. Supplement with support as needed.
Bon appétit!
© 2008 Aila Accad
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