2. Laugh often.
Recently I have been thinking about how much I used to laugh. Actually, I had a serious case of the giggles when I was younger. When the eruption of giggles started, there was no stopping me from having a full on attack. My face would turn red, tears would start falling, and my stomach would hurt from the laughter overflowing inside of me. During soccer practice my friend Sarah and I devised a technique so we could control our laughter in school. We decided to try and hold our breath and suck our cheeks in as though are life depended on not letting out a peep of laughter. Eventually the lack of oxygen caused us to burst which led to the giggles starting all over again. We tried to be serious but life was much too fun.
After dealing with the ups and downs of life, I realized I have become much too serious with age. Do I like this serious person? Not really. I have lost my connection with my inner child - the silly little girl who used to tell funny stories and make people laugh. While there are times when life should be taken seriously, I also feel the majority of life shouldn’t be taken that seriously. We need to let go and allow ourselves to be silly and act like a little kid. Run through the fields and feel free. Dance around the house like no one is watching. Make silly faces at the strangers driving by you (okay, I dare you). Tell a funny story about an embarrassing moment from your past. Listen to funny people on the radio or watch them on TV. Whatever makes you laugh, do more of it.
3. Care about others.
When our ego rules our world, it is extremely difficult to care about others. I find the majority of people I encounter to be quite selfish and as a result, they are quite unhappy. When you only care about yourself, you will be miserable. Those people who reach out to others are the most happy and fulfilled people in this world. The only way you can truly care for others however is first to care for yourself. Only until you learn to love yourself in a non-egotistical and unconditional way, can you truly care and love others.
Caring for others forces you outside your bubble of a world. You learn to be compassionate, accepting, and non-judgmental when you open your heart to another.
4. Say "I love you!"
Right before my grandfather died he said, “I just want you to know I love you!” I was taken aback by these powerful words spoken by a grandfather who was never overly emotional with me. My grandfather suffered from Parkinson’s disease and as a result, he lost his ability to communicate in a coherent manner. In fact I never really remember having a conversation with my grandfather. The last night I saw him however it was as though an angel spoke through him to say, “I love you!” When I left my grandfather’s room at the assisted living facility, I crawled into the back of my grandma’s Cadillac and cried like I had never cried before. I felt bathed in loved from a man I knew for so many years, yet never really knew.
Even though my grandfather is no longer physically with me, his spirit comes to my aid whenever I need him. During tough times in my life, my grandfather is my biggest cheerleader. I hear his words, “You can do it! I believe in you!”
The lesson here is: Don’t wait until you are on your deathbed to say “I love you!” If you love someone, tell them, show them, but whatever you do, don’t hold back your love.
5. Believe in yourself.
Let me tell you, some days it’s harder than hell to believe in yourself. Man, I have been there and no how hard it is to keep yourself motivated on a daily basis. There are days you want to take the easy road and not push yourself to reach your full potential. You just feel like settling for a comfortable life, rather than challenging yourself to live your wildest dreams. Believing in yourself takes courage, not to mention guts that can be buried beneath layers of self-doubt.
Whenever I need a boost of inspiration and a reminder to believe in myself, I play the song “Lose Yourself” by Eminem. The opening lines are my favorite part of the song, “Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment, would you capture it or let it slip away?”
Your friends may not believe in you. Your family may not believe in you and they may question your sanity. Society may laugh at you. None of these reactions matter. What truly matters is how much you believe in yourself. A funny thing happens when you exude an air of authentic confidence - other people start believing in you too.
6. Grow your spirituality
At the age of 28 I went through what I now realize was a spiritual crisis. A life that used to make sense, have meaning, and make me happy, no longer did. I found myself feeling unsettled, restless, and disconnected. As a result I turned inward and embarked on a spiritual journey that entailed figuring out how to discover a freely flowing raw joy and sense of peace within that was completely independent of anything related to the external world. This was not an easy endeavor because it involved looking at myself and life in a whole new way.
As an intensely driven, achievement-oriented individual it seemed I was on this non-stop treadmill, always striving, reaching, and ultimately trying to force life instead of living in the flow of life. It felt as though I was constantly paddling upstream against a powerful current. I didn't want to look back on my life wondering why I spent so much time in my head worrying, instead of completely immersing myself in the joy-filled state of the present moment.
My path to becoming a more spiritual individual has involved meditating daily, doing yoga, journaling, and reading as many spiritual books as I can possibly can. I also frequent nature often because I find nature to be an outlet for my soul.
As my spiritual practice has deepened, I have found myself connecting to people on an entire different level. I feel an overwhelming love for people and I am not afraid to allow my love for them to be transparent. I feel very centered and relaxed instead of feeling overwhelmed by the furry of chaos in the external world. Being a spiritual individual has allowed me to widen my vision of life. I experience deeper truths and greater meaning, and as a result, I feel graced by the universe on a daily basis.
7. Act now.
This year I turned 30 and I decided it was the “either now or never” year to start living the life I envisioned for myself. After I found myself unemployed shortly after my 30th birthday, I allowed myself to have a 3 week pity party. Most days I would just lie on my living room floor asking myself questions such as, “What am I meant to do with my life? What is my purpose? How can I create a life of intention and meaning? How can I serve others?”
I told myself that if a position I was waiting on did not workout by October 1, I had to take action and start my own business. Lo and behold, on October 1 a Staffing Manager I was in conversations with called me to say the position I was about to interview for was put on hold.
This news was motivation to get my rear in gear and build the business I had created in my head a year ago. I had doubts about starting my own business, especially considering the state of the economy, but I knew if I didn’t do so, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I could no longer go through life with, “Could have, should have, would have” deadweights pulling me down. I feel each of us has a purpose in life and if we don’t carry out this purpose, our souls will slowly die.
Colleen Canney is a Career, Life, and Wellness Coach based in the Greater Milwaukee area. She is available for coaching via telephone or in-person.For more information on Colleen, please visit www.colleencanney.com or contact her via email at colleencanney@live.com.