On my way to work last week I heard a story on the radio about a man who lost over two hundreds pounds.....and gained it all back. The man said, "It's one thing to be on a diet and then one thing to go off the diet." His comment made me think about what it takes to lose weight and keep it off. I honestly believe diets don't work, at least long-term. I think diets mask the real issues someone is dealing with. When you are dieting, you are focused on counting calories, working out a certain number of minutes, and watching the scale like a hawk. All of these things serve as a band-aid to cover the wounds of why you gained weight in the first place.The questions you need to be exploring are, "Why am I overeating?" "During what times in my life do I turn to food?" "What void is food filling up for me?" "Am I feel unworthy or unloveable?"

I think the secret ingredient missing from all these so-called "diets" on the market is self-love. Before you even jump on the diet bandwagon, get excited about wearing a certain pant size, or envision yourself looking fabulous at a big event, you first must look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Why hello you! I love you just the way you are!" Yes, there may be a larger version of yourself in the mirror but who the heck cares. The person you see in front of the mirror needs love and unconditional acceptance. If these two things are missing during your dieting efforts, you will be paddling upstream, trying to force results when there isn't a mental connection in place. You will engage in self-defeating thoughts during dieting and eventually will gain the weight back. Why? You never learned to love yourself.

To share my personal struggles with food and weight, up until a few years ago I noticed I was always about ten pounds lighter when I was dating someone. As soon as a relationship ended, I noticed I would eat more and put on extra weight. When I finally had my "aha" moment, I realized I felt loved when I was in relationship and felt unloveable when I was single.

Now having been single for a number of years, I realized how much food filled my love tanks. Food became my best friend and lover when there wasn't a man in my life. When I felt lonely, worried, anxious, or depressed, I would turn to food. Food never let me down, never talked back, and seemed to accept me unconditionally. Sounds funny but let me tell you, food and I have had one intense relationship for a long time.

Now when I find myself wanting to overeat, I ask myself what is going on in my life. Often I just need to tell myself I am perfect just the way I am. I don't mean this in an egotistical way at all. When you tell yourself, "I am perfect just the way I am," you are nourishing your body and soul with unconditional love. A funny thing happens when you love yourself. You no longer devour a batch of cookies or a bag of chips. Instead you make healthy choices that nourish your body with the food it needs.

So, before you think about starting a weight loss plan, take a considerable amount of time to become your own best friend and lover. Accept all of who you are, including the good, the bad, and the ugly. Don't berate yourself for getting out of shape or gaining weight. Tell yourself you did the best you could and you are only going to make better choices moving forward!

If you are interested in wellness coaching, feel free to contact me for a FREE consultation. I know first-hand what it's like to use food as love.

Colleen Canney is a Career, Life, and Wellness Coach based in Milwaukee, WI. For more information on Colleen, please visit her website at: www.colleencanney.com or contact her via email at colleencanney@live.com.

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