Thursday, June 11, 2009
Did you know that Michelle and Barack Obama have a weekly date? Yes, they do, and apparently have done so for quite some time. While that brings to mind interesting images (not to mention logistical questions like, how do they navigate around all the Secret Service guys?) it is really awesome that they take this time for their marriage.
Why?
A weekly date night is one of the best things you can do for your relationship. Research even bears this out. From Dr. John Gottman’s ‘Love Lab’ in Seattle, we learn how important this tradition is. During a weekly date with your beloved, you set aside time to reconnect as people, beyond the busy-ness of day to day family and professional life. You have a chance to share your thoughts, ideas, hopes and dreams about other things besides your kids, the daily routine, and schedule coordinating.
During a weekly date, you have time and space to enjoy your spouse, emotionally reconnect, and remember and re-experience the wonder and magic of your relationship, and what brought you together in the first place. Re-experiencing the wonder and magic of your marriage may not happen every week, but it will happen, and this time together apart from children, chores and challenges is crucial for maintaining and strengthening both your friendship and the security and stability of your emotional bond.
It is a secure & stable emotional bond that is crucial to the health, vitality & stability of your marriage.
Date night is one of the best things that Larry and I do for us; and if one of us gets lax, the other gently calls attention. We rotate who is in charge of planning and organizing what we do; our emphasis however, is not so much on the “doing” part of our date, but the enjoyment of being together.
I hope that is what Michelle and Barack do – even with all the Secret Service guys around the perimeter – focus on enjoying being together. If in the busy-ness of their lives, they still make and keep the commitment to a weekly date, so can you.
Begin now to enjoy a weekly date with your beloved, and remember and reconnect with the magic in your marriage.
Warmly,
Debra
Debra Gordy, MS MRET
Transformational Relationship Therapist & Coach
Spiritual Healing Intuitive
Author of the forthcoming book, Cinderella Wisdom: A Woman's Journey of Spiritual Healing to Living Her Heart's Desire.