Monday, November 10, 2008
Have you noticed an increased amount of stress or fear in your life or marriage, since all the “disaster” financial news has been in the media lately?
If so, you are not alone. For many people, stress, worry or fear often shows up in the area of their marriages during times of heightened general stress, especially if they have a personal stress response style that makes them prone to pulling apart or blaming their spouse during difficult experiences.
Financial stress can be particularly difficult for many couples. The reasons for this stem the fact that money is one of the most common hot topics within marriages. Many people attach so much “baggage” to money that it is difficult for them to deal with the topic of money in a calm, clear, and non-reactive manner. For many people, money subconsciously symbolizes security, control, winning, or being successful in their family role. In American culture, we often equate having lots of money with personal, not just business, success. Some even equate financial prosperity with personal righteousness, or indicating having God’s approval.
These attachments and symbolisms about the meaning of money are often tied to our most basic human needs for security and safety in the world. We learn at an early age, and our culture certainly reinforces, that we can’t survive very well without those things that money buys!
So it is understandable that you or your spouse may feel worried or frightened by all the “disaster” financial news; if your sense of security and safety feels threatened, you may feel it on a deep, often survival level.
Why does fear about money rattle people so deeply? . . .
The above excerpt is from the latest issue of Creating Joy! my FREE monthly e-newsletter, all about ending your relationship problems, and creating a lasting, happy marriage. To read the rest of the article, including learning:
1. Why fear and conflict about money problems can be such a hot topic in marriage
2. Why money problems trigger Primal (survival) Fear
3. My 6-Step Plan for Healing and Protecting Your Marriage from Fears about Money Problems
subscribe to Creating Joy! today.
Warmly,
Debra Gordy
Transformational Relationship Therapist & Coach
Author of the forthcoming book Cinderella Wisdom: Five Secrets for Creating Your Dream Marriage in the Real World.
www.DebraGordyMS.com