Miracle, Spiritual & Reiki Healing in Ashland OR

Trusting in Source. . .Who/What is your source?

In strange times like these, people forget. ‘Forget what’ you might be wondering? Forget who we are. How long have you been on your spiritual path? How many hours have you put into ‘knowing who you are’. And when times get strange, do you remember all that you have learned?

In between these two eclipses in July 09 (7th and 22nd) and the third coming up in early August, we are challenged to bring our awareness to the darkness that has shadowed our light and remember who we are. When the sun comes out and you stand and look up at it, what is behind you? Your shadow. So the more light you carry, the more you raise your frequency, the more you trust that life is a blessing no matter what happens – that is shining light on your shadow. The shadow will always be there to help you remember. There is no one out there to remind you.

However, right now what I’m experiencing is my clients dropping out, losing the commitment to themselves in favor of their cash flow. I’m experiencing people wanting and needing to help themselves and unless it’s a trade they won’t do it, for themselves. The quality of my life does not depend upon my clients choices. The flow of cash in my life looks very much like it depends upon what my clients choices are. When I get to a place where I’m thinking I must work harder, market more, talk to more people, accept anything, it’s all to keep me in action from my free will that is stuck in the belief that I’m in charge of my life. My practices over the years have taught me different, yet in this moment, my own desperation begins to motivate me to doing more. Then, I realize what I’m doing. And stop, breathe and rest into my center.

And then I remember that my prayer since January of this year has been to raise my hands to the heavens and open my heart, then with deep invitational prayer I say “In . . .Come” and it feels good. I surrender yet again, my thoughts, my free will, my old beliefs and give them all deep reverence. For if these thoughts and patterns were not there I may not be on the spiritual path, thank the Goddess. If these thoughts and patterns were not there I may not have ever learned to trust that God knows way better than I what is coming and how to use my energy the best.

So are people your source? I ask myself how is it that I drop into a place of fear after all I’ve learned and experienced in Grace. Well, it’s just that kind of time. The heavens are working, all in our favor, and we feel deeply that it’s us, yet again. Not really, it’s us to stay consciously aware of what arises, then do what we know to do, practice and trust that this too is a blessing. Source then, is right in that moment, not outside of us at all, ever.

I invite us all to breathe a bit more during this time and remember.

When we are committed to following a spiritual path, whatever it may be, situations in life still happen. The question is what to do about them: do you react or respond? How do you integrate being spiritual with being human? For me this is a quest that has no direct answer. It seems that whenever I feel I’ve figured it all out, my life presents me with a new situation in which there is no answer. As human beings we are process oriented, as spirit beings we are whole and complete in every moment.

As you go along with your practices you find one day life is changing. Even though you’ve asked for things to change, when they come about different than what you have pictured or you think you’ve asked for, you cringe or resist, or sometimes even dig in and want it your way.  Let’s take love for example.  A relationship is going along seemingly just fine, each committed to each other and themselves; small bumps get worked out well and everyone is generally happy. Then one day, one partner says they are ready for something else in their life: a change. If the other one doesn’t readily agree it seems there is a conflict. I say this is not the case . . . breathe for a moment and let’s explore a bit deeper.

As a spiritual being, I hope one of your practices is being with yourself . . .  in a safe and nurturing environment. At this juncture, you take the possible conflict and breathe it within yourself. Watch for discomfort, angst, fear and the like. Allow that feeling to remain, otherwise you will push it into resistance and then act unconsciously (react) around your mate with possible damage to them and ultimately, yourself. Instead, allow your feelings within you to percolate to the surface of your consciousness. Heal them yourself and make your choice of what is best for you to do. If your commitment is to love AND the relationship, I believe this is the perfect time to grow yourself. If your commitment is to yourself, this again is a perfect time to grow, and if your commitment is to God and to serve, this is also a perfect time to grow.

Now reflect on which choice you’ve made so easily in the past in the same situation and evaluate how well that choice has worked out for you. Is it time to make a new choice? Remember each choice as a spiritual being is for the moment the best choice for the moment, and you must be willing to be responsible for any consequences that choice has, in the moments to come. Staying in truth to your highest consciousness is what allows for change in a peaceful way. The ego lets go and you glide into the next phase of being more of the true you.

Now let’s take a look at the human being. When a partner makes a statement about now being a time for change that confronts you or doesn’t match your pictures of the relationship, the body reacts, the mind reacts, and the emotional body reacts. Each one of these has a different reason for its reaction. The body is reacting to past memories of similar situations that didn’t go well.   Therefore you will predict this one is not going well and you may not be in the place of wanting anything to change because of the past. The mind reacts because its connection to the ego that is wanting to make change in its own way. An argument ensues inside the mind called confusion, which way to go—keep it or give it away, and so on until chaos reigns within the mind possibly causing a loss of energy or depression and confusion. The emotional body reacts in much the same way wherever any of these situations come up from the past and the solution was other than of your choosing.  Maybe someone forced a solution on you where you felt you had no choice, or you’ve chosen what you thought was a good choice and it didn’t work out well. In these cases the emotional body hasn’t healed from that situation and it reacts. This is where wars and violence come from within nations, within people.

Integrating all these reactions within the spiritual being is the opportunity being presented here. How do you do that?  What do you do? By being centered in the IAM presence and meditating on any change or situation, you can commit to yourself that you are in the right place at the right time and things will always work out for the best. Within the peace of this knowing allow yourself to heal and let go of all past issues staying in the moment so that you can really begin to see fair, whole, healthy solutions to previously difficult problems. When you are centered you are able to communicate well to your partner your feelings and the rightness of your choices within the change that is being requested of you and your life with this partner. Once there are no pulls of resistance or reaction, solutions pop into existence almost as though God were present in the room with you. Miracles! Your relationship as well as yourself, grows.

When I was a teenager I felt I had a pretty good life.  I was in a middle class suburban neighborhood, going to a cool school, had cool friends and life looked like it had multiple opportunities open for me.  My parents were struggling financially, but we always seemed to have the necessities and they maintained a happy outlook on life, had lots of friends and were pretty good role models.

Then my dad died.  I was 16.  My two younger sisters were 13 and 12.  My mother in her mid-forties was devastated.  We had no more financial support.  My father did not have health or life insurance.  My mother never worked since I was born.  She received a small stipend from his time in the military for herself and each of us, not enough to keep the house.

We had to sell and moved to urban Los Angeles.  Smelly city, arrogant people, loud noises all night long from sirens either police or paramedics.  Mom, while always a yeller, became even more hostile and helpless.  She had to go to work with low self-esteem from years of unemployment.  Life’s opportunities seemed to disappear for me.  I could not wait to get out of her house.

We all made the best of the situation, on the surface.  Really it was only the beginning of what I call the most difficult time in my life.  I didn’t learn the lessons offered to me then, I was angry, upset, cried a lot and blamed her for everything that happened.  It seemed to me that she never helped me get over that time.  Of course not, she was not over that time.  But why did I constantly blame her?  It was wrong and right at the same time.  I was very confused.

Fast forward to my own mid-forties.  I have chosen to heal my own anger.  I am tired of carrying this weight around on my shoulders.  It boggles my own mind that I’m still in a love/hate relationship with my mother, even after she died 6 years ago.  I cannot seem to let go of all the yelling she did at me.  I am faced with understanding what I have denied all these years.

All the wrongs she blamed me for, most of which I did not do.  She was looking for a scapegoat and I became the black sheep, the one that must have done all the wrong things.  She yelled.  She chased me around the house with a black leather belt when she was so angry she could not stand herself, I became the target.  She let go of her rage – on me.

In remembering these horrible times, I began to look deeper.  I wanted to understand my connection to all this anger.  I begin to see that I only wanted my mother to love me and show me she loved me.  My father was a master at loving each of us.  He was unconditional in all of his actions and words.  He was gentle, loving and very supportive of anything we wanted to do.  He taught us his favorite things, making pictures either with painting them or using mosaic tiles.  He played any musical instrument by ear.  He was a great dancer and taught us how to dance.  He laughed a lot, had many friends and was pleasing to be around, all the time.  The contrast between them always baffled me.  As far as I know, neither of them drank or did drugs.   Then, why was my mother mostly angry?

My realization came over time.  One day I was talking with my daughter on the phone and I realized I said something exactly the way my mother said it.  When we got off the phone, I was puzzled.  Maybe my own thoughts were imprinted, by my mother.  Maybe I was giving my own daughter the same messages my mother gave me.  This scared me, I certainly did not want to be my mother, to my daughter.  Maybe I did not have any of my own thoughts, maybe my thoughts were mostly hers.  The discovery became like unwinding a huge ball of string, one string at a time.

Another time, I was doing errands around the town where I lived.  No matter what I did this day, it seemed that I was met with rejection and people uninterested in helping me.  When I got home, it came together.  I was so used to that energy inside of me, and so ready to release it, that everyone I met that day showed me what it looked like when I was hurt and angry.  They rejected me and made me feel like they did not want to be around me.  I learned so much from this experience.  I healed my own feelings of being rejected by my mother’s actions towards me.  I felt she was angry at me.  Really she was just angry at her own life.

What if I could have offered her compassion for her anger?  I wondered for days about what my life would have been like had I been able at 16 or 17 to give to my mother the love that I wanted.  Offer her love and understanding for her losing the love of her life.  Offer her compassion for what it cost her.  Offer her peace of mind in being able to take care of myself so she did not have to be responsible for me, as much, any more.

What if?  I realized that playing the game of ‘what if’ would only serve to punish me more.  So, I chose to heal.  I healed all the raging thoughts I had about my mother, the hate, the distain, unwarranted punishment I felt from her, the deep hurt.  I spent many hours, even days learning to love my own heart.  I allowed my heart to feel the deeply denied pain that was buried within me and allowed it to surface to be loved, by me.  Taking the feelings moment by moment, into love.  The accompanying old thought patterns and changing them, into love.  After months I felt I had let her have her own life and I had new choices for mine.

A miracle occurred.  All of a sudden I had space within me for my mother’s behaviors and was able to separate her behaviors from her.  She loved me, but through the anger I could not see it.  This opened me up to another miracle.  I had space for myself to change.  Rather than being the angry hurt daughter in revenge of her, I saw that I could have been and am choosing in this moment to be, loving toward her regardless of how it looks to me.  I imagined the most horrific times with her and changed my responses to them.  As she was yelling at me, I said to her “oh, mom, you must be so hurt at what I’ve done”.  In an eye opening moment, my mother’s reaction toward me changed.  She softened.  She came towards me and said, “oh darling, I’m so sorry I’m yelling at you, when I’m just angry at myself.”  In that moment, all the years of energy that I held within my body towards her, melted.  I was free.

So I pass along to you now.  No matter what is happening in your household, when your mother or father are angry at you, realize that underneath they are only angry at themselves and wanting to release the energy from their own body.  You happen to be the one standing in front of them and they may be making it sound like you are a problem.  You can be of service to them, by keeping your energy in the truth of you truly are – strong, beautiful, intelligent, vital, and alive.

Keep your reactions in your heart, where your love is.  Your parents need love.  You need love.  Your generation is stronger spiritually than the previous generation.  You know who you are.  You know that your love is strong and available to you and you can offer it to others around you.  So offer it to your parents, no matter what is going on.  You can say, “I love you”, “I am sorry for your pain, hurt or mistrust.”  Watch how they respond to you for understanding them.  You can say, “thank you” to them for what they do for you.  These small sentences change relationships.  These short acknowledgements of people around you, change your world.

When you look at these two words you can see how only two letters changed will shift the word into a truly different meaning. Take sc.a.red and change the "c.a." which is the KA (breath) and it turn into sa.c.red which has "a.c." (current).

When you feel scared in life, no matter what the situation is, moving into sacred with your breath will alter you reality or perception of not only the situation but more importantly, how you feel about the situation. Do you realize how sacred your body is? Your body has sustained you throughout your life until now, and how have you acknowledged it? Living a sacred life starts with honoring the Self. When your body is in pain (an acronym - pay attention inside now) what do you do? Many people, even highly evolved people, take something for the pain. A band aid. If you are choosing a sacred life you might choose to serve the body for whatever the pain is asking of you. You may relieve the pain as simply as paying attention to it. You may find out the actual cause or source of the pain because it was asking for your attention - and you gave it.

Once you facilitate the body with LOVE it begins to trust that you will always be there for its needs, much like when you were a child and you trusted your parents to be there for you. Your Self is asking for your attention, give it as though it were your only child and all your love. Honoring the body in this way gives yourSelf trust in God. Because, for me, God dwells in the body.

The a.c. of money is the same. How often do you feel c.a. about money? How often do you feel the a.c. of money? When you are honoring your body you also receive more love than you have ever felt in your life. So when you get a.c. about money your body will let you know by offering you a signal in the body. Pay Attention. This signal can shift in a moment upon your awareness, breath and choice. As god's children, we are asked to be here in body to express our visions, to work cooperatively together to create a world in love, harmony and bliss. Your part is very important. Don’t even stop for one moment and think it is not. Whenever you give up on yourSelf and let yourself be c.a. about money or anything else you are adding to all the others who believe and take actions based on those beliefs. Be YourSelf! In this way you are also adding - only this time to all the others who choose to remember who they ARE - always. And empowering that world in which you choose to live. Heart filled!

Taking it a step further. When you go to buy something or pay someone for services rendered, how many times do you complain about the cost? Honoring the body leads to honoring others, even the utility companies or credit card companies. Did you not receive a service from these companies? When you are in honor of yourSelf it is so easy to stay in the flow of current(cy) a.c. because if you feel like complaining about paying for something, if you are checking in with your body and have agreements with it to keep it healthy, you will feel a distinct discomfort. Then Breathe. Then you respond rather than react and begin to honor the person or service for the part they played in doing their job or learning what they learned and making themselves available for the service they are providing for you. Give and receive takes place, harmony, love and flow. It’s magic. You then receive more a.c. because your willingness to give c.a. is present in your experience of the now. . . Flow. . . Abundance.

If you are reading this, you are here in a body. What have you done with this body since the day you were born? This is a serious question. Write it all down-good and bad, right and wrong, happy and sad, pleasure and pain. All of it. You are the only one who knows what you have endured. Isn't it time you gave yourself a choice? Isn't it time things changed? Isn't it time you took complete responsibility for your choices and changes? Which do you choose to be, victim or volunteer? You didn't know quite what to do with this body when you came in with it. Guess what! None of us did. So what have we learned? Nothing better than to run away. Few of us have taken full responsibility to be in our bodies and truly honor the many ways they have served us. We have allowed others to abuse us, and if there were any rewards (like love offered through abuse) to be had in the process, we allowed that abuse to continue. After all, how else were we going to get any 'goodies' in life? And who were we to think we deserved anything better, anyway? Do we embody the god-self that we are, or walk around talking to ourselves like a god-beings would? NO! We walk around expressing ourselves as undeserving victims of situations.

This has got to stop.

Those of us who are willing (I suspect this includes you) to heal the earth have the capacity to heal ourselves as well. When we become self-responsible enough to accept that we are everything, that we are all there is, that we are energy, then we will begin to use our bodies as the vehicles they are meant to be. Only then will we become the volunteers we came here to be, to do the jobs we came here to do. The time is now. The assistance is here. What are we waiting for? Someone to help us 'know' what to do or what our mission is? I'll bet you already know what your mission is. It is the one people are referring to when they tell you "I see you doing this or that or the other thing", the one you always leave your body to avoid hearing about. You have been resisting your mission all your lie, and your resistance has made you a victim.

Until now, that is. It is time, NOW, for every one of us to accept responsibility for our actions, thoughts and feelings. Until we do, our world will continue on its present course toward self-destruction. We are the only ones who can change its course, and we can do that in an instant. As soon as we change that course within ourselves, everything else must change in response. It is Universal Law. Action, Reaction.

You will see that this is true-you may already have seen it. When you pick up a piece of litter off the ground, a moment later someone does something nice for you that you didn't expect. That is instant manifestation. When you accept responsibility for the harm you have done others with your thoughts or words, love enters your life in new and marvelous ways. And that is only the beginning. As you go within and find the hurts and heal yourself, you will find your outer world offering you love you would hardly have dared dream of before.

Self-responsibility and love are the marks of true prosperity. Born not of obligation, fear or guilt, but of a reverence for the sacredness of all things, self-responsibility is a conscious choice that brings total freedom and healing to our daily lives. When we have that kind of freedom within ourselves, we begin to see the effects of our past choices, and we can learn to make different choices. We can choose love.

To truly make a difference, start with you!

How precious are you? Do you know? Can you access even one part of you that you love? Let's come at the question from the other direction, and I'm sure you will find answers. How many times have you done something wrong, to yourself or someone else? What was it you did? How many times have others told you you should or shouldn't have done or said something? What happened? As a child, how many older people did you look up to whose beliefs you adopted and still hold, even though you now realize they never really felt good or right to you?

Your answers to these questions are the keys to knowing the truth about yourself. If you really want to heal the world, take a look inside yourself. The hurtful beliefs you took on as a child are not going to magically disappear. You have to go inside and clear them out. Until you do, our world will continue to suffer, because you are suffering. It is time to heal those beliefs, release them, and become free.

Stay in your own body!

The freedom you search for outside of you is always there-just outside of you! Did you know that as a child you left your body when you got scared? Leaving was an automatic defense mechanism we all used to protect ourselves, a mechanism that served us well as children. As adults, though, we need to stop running away. Chances are, you are still using this mechanism to escape the pain your daily life-your job, kids, husband, wife, money, 'haves' or 'have-nots'. All of it! What would happen if you were to make the decision to stay in your body, even though it was painful, for that moment? What might you feel that would give you an insight to how you have already created your world? Is it your choice to continue to create your world like the way it is now, or to make a conscious change?

Your body is your vehicle. Think of it as your means for getting around in every moment of every day. Sometimes it moves, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it rests, eats, has sex, desires entertainment, nurturing. How many times a day do you give it what it desires? How many times a day do you say 'no' to yourself? Do you suppress your car in the same way? When it is low on fuel, do you say 'No, later, when I have money', or come up with some other excuse? If you do, it won't perform for you, will it? It's that basic and simple.

Do you realize the Universe we live in is a 'yes' Universe? Every time you say 'no' to yourself, the Universe says 'yes'-it agrees with you! Is it any wonder you're not getting what you think you want out of life?

Leaving the body creates denial, and denial creates more pain! How? When you leave your body, you are denying your pain. When you deny your pain, you are choosing not to take responsibility for the situation that caused the pain. That was what we did when we thought we had no choice but to accept whatever came our way. Yet each time a painful situation occurred, we were making an unconscious decision-the decision to allow it. Each time we made that decision, it was reinforced and buried even deeper in our body. As we continue this pattern the body begins to have its own reaction, in the form of joint pain, ulcers, cancer, ruptures, and other dis-eases.

Now that we know we have choice, it is time to begin to embody choice instead of denial of pain. We can reverse this process! We can responsibly go back inside the body and honor all the situations we created to learn our life lessons, the lessons we were too afraid to stick around inside the body to heal at the time. We looked outside of ourselves for someone to do it for us, or to give us the answers. Yet the body has its own inner intelligence, and no one can give you your answers, for you are a unique being in a unique circumstance at every moment.

Your body knows how to heal. How do you think you have managed to last as long as you have, through all that you have endured? Isn't this proof enough of its magnificence? You can assist it right now in its healing process by honoring all it has done for you. Honor it for lasting this long! Even though you have not given it love, still it has survived.

Yet, you are more than a survival machine! You are God - precious in every way, to be loved and honored, blessed and cared for in a sacred way, every moment of every day. Nothing is as important as you, inside your body. Breathing, feeling, loving yourself, healing all that has happened in the past. Making new choices, choosing to have the freedom to experience all the love you can and to live the life you came to earth to live, to live your mission. You are an important piece of the Universal puzzle!!!

Are we willing for our earth to be in denial? Well guess what! How do you think the earth got to be in the situation she is in today? By treating ourselves collectively the way we have. It will take every one of us telling the truth about ourselves to begin to reverse this denial within us and heal ourselves and our planet.

When I was 14, I was very powerful. I didn't know it then. I brought two cultures together as family because I 'knew' myself to be a world citizen and felt the (past life) obligation to heal these two cultures. It caused some pain, some happiness. I learned at that time to be a chameleon, to be comfortable with each culture while I was with them. Yet when we were together as family I felt very uncomfortable inside me. What happened? I made up a belief that each family had specific requirements to be with the other and I felt so judged inside me that a level of comfort was impossible for me. I kept those judgments inside me and buried them, in favor of having 'family'.

Those feelings inside me felt incomplete, unresolved and run very deep to the core as I knew myself. They cause new and current situations to be colored by that feeling turning to a belief. After noticing the feelings and judgments I placed all those years ago inside me and transmuting the energies, I feel ok - for a while. This is the time we are in - clearing the energies of belief that cause us to feel unloved in any way. Those feelings came back, I transmute again, feel ok. Come back, a few times. I realize I must go through the barriers of resistance deeper within me to clear and transmute to a renewed feeling of love at the age of 14. This time the transmutation feels complete. I feel whole and loved and the mind is quiet - peaceful.

While our 'mother earth' is making her transition towards creator, this is also how we must treat ourselves. In every moment with all the discipline and devotion you can bring to yourself right now. While we are feeling the energies of the astrological changes we have options - choices. Please make yourselves available to devotion to the Self, body, mind and emotions and honor all you feel and think right now. When you shift it - transmute it - transform it - you are set free. If you don't, those that you feel and push down or wait until you have time to deal with, will come back even stronger.

This is a safe playing field. It is designed to love and support you in the way you honor yourself, creator and mother. It is within your lightbody vehicle, your merkaba. (If you would like more info on this, please call me directly). As your feelings and thoughts come up in your space, environment or through mirrors (other people) please honor that you are being asked on a universal level to clear. As you clear these you are assisting those who do not recognize they must clear, yet everyone is feeling these changes on some level. Your participation is very important and desired by the Universe.

Close your eyes and feel a re-occurring thought or feeling. Breathe deeply throughout your whole body. Ask it to show you pictures, visions, sounds, words, situations that you have experienced (please be kind and do not judge what comes up). Ask it questions like "What am I ready to learn from this?" or "How can I see this in a different way for my growth"? The truth will be shown to you - honor it - then honor yourSelf, your body for being there for you every time you experienced something like this in your life and you didn't pay attention to it. (PAIN is an acronym for Pay Attention Inside Now) Honor this situation or feeling as if you were your only child. Thank it for being there. Now you can see the feeling or situation as the Godself you really are, not the child making up disbeliefs for negative attention for love. Next, forgive yourself for having not remembered who you really are - love. Feel it and embrace it. Then add light to your breath, any color that feels good, healing to you. Let that light move into different colors as you breathe and expand yourself to become only love. As you engage your breath deeper within you - expand your breath through your crown chakra and base chakra and move (offer) that feeling or situation to Creator. Feel it leaving your body and mind and emotions. Thank God for being there for you, give your love to God and Mother for their assistance always in your life. Know, intend that as you release these thoughts and feelings they transmute into pure love energy to be used by the universe at any time. See your connection through strands, grids or however you are supported best, above and below you as the situation winds and floats and transmutes from yourSelf into the Field of Pure Potential beyond you - then make your master statement to yourself - the one you know - I AM LOVE or whatever words you like.

After some practice this can be done in a few minutes. If someone you love is sharing a story with you that you would rather not hear it: either say that and/or breathe this breath and transmute the energies from your consciousness into the Field of Pure Potential. This cleans your consciousness and helps those around you, during this precious time. You will empower yourself and others.

The process of being human, understanding the ego, learning to see the world clearly, allowing your own perceptions to broaden, seeing the light in others, accepting the self, I could go on for pages about the myriad of concepts we will choose to learn on the path to embracing our spirit. All in good time . . or better said divine time, or said through a well known program, A.A., one day at a time . . . . personally my adaptation is; one moment, one breath at a time.

About a year ago I started acknowledging my clients when they recognized something endearing in their personal relationships as ‘innocence’. One story in particular was told to me by a dear friend. He was sharing about his wife’s actions and one day he realized that he had always judged that action she did with a question “why does she do that that way, why doesn’t she just do it this way, it would be so much easier for her”. As a wise man he knew not to say that to her, it lingered in his head. Once he became conscious that thought was still present in his experience of his precious wife, he chose to let it go with the process he knows assists him. My friend was so elated he was choosing to let go and he began to enjoy his wife so much more. He was impassioned by his new experience of freedom with her. This comment flowed effortlessly out of my mouth as if directed by spirit, ‘You gave her back her innocence’. I was surprised to feel what it felt like to say that spirited statement. He gave a very acknowledging deep and confirming ‘Yeah’ as his response.

This sent me on a quest to understand a deeper sense of innocence with all that surrounded me. That feeling I felt inside me as those precious words were spoken through me allowed me to feel something that hadn’t been felt since I was an innocent child, or maybe a glimpse of a memory of being spirit. Experiences come and go and I find myself deeply into my writing and serving clients and delving deeply into my own being through some personal difficulties. I am in practice of the spiritual principles as much as I am sharing these gifts. Things that come to me to handle, I wonder how and why I brought them to me to learn. After two months of things seemingly going badly, I stopped processing myself that I did anything to cause these life situations. What I saw clearly is that this time these events came for me to view my own ‘internal dialog’ and ‘upgrade’ the way I see things and process them within me, so be it. I have been asking for ease and grace and what I have learned in that the path is when I give to myself, I am then in receivership of what I’m asking. . . I have it!

The culmination of events peaked when I had a reflection of a very resistant man in front of me comparing my beliefs to his and stating very matter of factly ONLY what he would allow in his space for his growth. I thought how much that sounded like me demanding what I had learned had value and placing that on others to accept and if they did not accept it they did not accept me and what a lonely road I must hoe because of it, well look at the creation of thoughts within me and this outer experience. More reflection along that line of past thinking, that I became OK with never having another relationship and really settling into everything is OK just like it is, which is true for me, feeling peaceful about everything just the way it is, but it seemed more like a settling for it would never be better, and that is not OK with me. So, as I’m watching this person and judging who he is to see how I am like that, I go into meditation. What came was to gift this person with a message from spirit. Go inside and meet your ‘innocence’. Have a dialog with it, nurture, listen and have only compassion and love to extend to your innocence. Judge nothing and have nothing to do, just listen and be there for forty days and keep silence within about it all. Allow the discovery to unfold. I send an email to this person and let it go, a day later in meditation I hear do this process for myself to see how it feels.

I begin and immediately see that my body and my past experiences have a new voice. One I’ve never heard before yet I’ve certainly heard all those words before, but not connected that the churning in my solar plexus, or stirring in my heart or constraints in my throat that might have a deeper voice that deserved compassion now. I began each time I felt a feeling I would ask ’innocence what do you have to say’, immediately my mind would answer with the formulas to make things be OK and better as I have trained myself in the past to handle all difficult situations. What became obvious and clear was a deep sense of longing to just be heard and loved for my experiences and beliefs, that I have survived. One feeling moved into another and each part of the body had something to say and each time the mind has another way of looking at it to make it OK and then letting that go into “oh, I see what you are saying or feeling’ or ‘thank you for telling me that now so I can really hear it’. My body relaxed deeply, pains disappeared, tensions lightened up and then let go and in a few minutes I felt lighter, happier, peaceful. Now, whenever I have a thought or experience in the body I am at full attention within myself, giving love to myself and I’m finding now those difficult times when I felt I needed to demand my space or spell out my beliefs that I have proof work or save me in some way, I can now listen fully to the other person and say ‘wow, what you have been through, thank you for sharing’, with so much love inside me. I feel that love growing inside me and its so easy to give to another from this wellspring.

I, as a human having a spiritual experience, feel this is only one of the many eye opening exercises which give us exactly what we have been asking for. All knowledge is within us, if we just allow the learning to empower us instead of needing another to do it for us. Sometimes we get those ahhaa moments from reading, or writing or just having a friend share their experience and many teachers teach through stories to show the metaphors and not personalize everything. And sometimes we get them spontaneously when information turns to knowledge and coalesces within. For now, enjoy your path and whatever you are experiencing right now, as joy!