From: heartsongs@cox.net <heartsongs@cox.net>
Subject: reflections and musings on experiencing/glimpsing perfection for moments in time
To: omega_b_2000@yahoo.com,
Date: Tuesday, November 8, 2005, 4:28 PM

dear precious ones from OB class this past weekend,

i just spent two deliriously wonderful days in a holy space with 21 of the most exquisite people.  we had 13 various sessions of laying on of hands and there was much exchange of sacred energy, healing heat, feelings of safety and security and connection to all there and the whole universe.  we were totally immersed in each other, in ourselves, in the divine experience of "being" and "holding" that sacred space.  words cannot describe how ethereal, exquisite, delightful, delicious, exotic and all consuming the whole weekend class experience was for us all (so i believe).  what was intended to be a class of body work became an opportunity to grow and experience life, love, heart and God's unconditional love and the many precious ways he/she/it (the Universe) has been waiting patiently for each one of us to awaken to our individual perfection and our eternal connection to all that is. 

upon arriving, the individual and group energy was high.  it was almost palpable.  at these classes, there is a feeling of excitement like christmas morning...all the children cannot wait to come downstairs and around the corner into the room where their miraculous gifts are displayed.  like those same little children, we are so excited (jumping and squealing) to see each magical present as he/she walks in the door.  some faces we have been seen before.  some faces are new.  all are bright, beautiful, familiar and full of life and grand expectation.  there is almost a clamoring of ahhhhh's and ohhhhh's and mmmmmm's as each person enters.  embraces of warmth, love and heart are shared and then finally a breath of release and relief when "the" teacher enters.  not that anyone calms down for some time, but there is an unspoken given that we are about to embark on an adventure with a superior guide who will take us places we choose to go and we know we are safe.  each person is safe within him/herself, with each other.  we are as safe as we want to be and "the" teacher will gently, lovingly, kindly and with a spirit of unconditional mother's love watch over and protect each of us.  there is nothing to fear here.  we are all in a totally safe place.  (even if we didn't know it at the time).

as the class begins and the children's spirits in the adult bodies begin to calm down, settle into the moment and focus on the "task"at hand, we begin our journey.   as we lie down on tables to practice, the murmur of chatter begins to subside.  the excited energy begins to settle into a channel or current that while electric is not chaotic or spastic.  more like lying on the warm white sands of a tropical island as the warm, blue waters gentle embrace and engulf the body.  there are moments of intense heat, as if the sun is penetrating one's body and then the cool of the water laps over the body again to bring the temperature to a more neutral place. 

the first hands are placed on my shoulders.  i sigh a breath of relief.  my shoulders drop, my body relaxes.  like a puppet on tight strings, my puppet master has let out the slack and my body is able to relax and at times perhaps even go totally limp.  what an exquisite sensation to not have to hold anything...not one muscle has to stay tight if i choose to let it go.  i keep my eyes closed and just allow this angel whose hands are on me to follow my lead or guide me to a place of release and healing.  i am floating through dark spaces as if totally submerged in an ocean dark.  yet totally safe.   able to completely let go and let the energy, like water,  carry me safely/securely to places of comfort and warmth.  there are sensations of walking in from a cold walk in the forest with snow capped trees into a warm home with blazing fires, sweet breads cooking and aromas of love and life wafting through and seducing me further into the core of love.  all this only to be followed by moments of descending again into a dark space (or perhaps rising into the furthest reaches of the midnight sky) to a place that for a moment feels frightening as if i am back in one of my most terrifying moments as a small child or at one of my most vulnerable moments of my divorce or in the throws of the screaming pain that accompanies extreme loss and fear.  i am feeling the tightening of my chest, the breath go out of my lungs and the grip of fear enveloping my heart that for a split second felt like years.  i was seeing and feeling my heart totally exposed.  and in the exquisite moment of fear, a hand touched my foot or my hand or my hip or whatever part they touched and just as quickly and intensely as the fear threw me into a panic, the touch brought me to a place of pure release, comfort, safety and joy.  from an outsider's point of view, my body's reaction, my tears, my shaking...all might appear as if i were in a place to run from and in an experience to be avoided.  yet, with the deep knowledge that i am totally surrounded by love, i am able to experience the shaking, the tears, the releasing and experience it fully with the knowledge that i may not understand what or why but i understand that it is good, it is safe and it is a perfect moment.  i come back to this more earthly plane and am somewhat hesitant to accept that i am back in "this"space.  it takes some time (sometimes minutes and sometimes hours) before i am able to return sufficiently to participate in the group again.  but whether minutes or hours, i am grateful for the gift of release and love that has been shared with me. 

it is incredible what our bodies hold onto for years and how quickly it can be released when the right time, the right moment, the true belief, the leap of faith, the right hands all juxtapose to present the absolutely perfect second for a new birth of me.  my gratitude to all who were there is immense and immeasurable.  this weekend could not have happened with anyone else except those who were there and the perfection that was experienced could not have been without each of you.  i would walk in that holy place and sacred space at all times always if i could right now.  for whatever reasons, i am not ready to hold that space 24/7/365 yet.  but, because of weekends like this, i am able to hold it more and more and more securely even in what we call "the real world".  such an illusion that we call this the real world when that which is real seems so elusive.

again, i gratefully and humbly bow to each of you and thank you for the holy gift you shared with me this weekend.

While "Heartsongs " status as a professional bodyworker has changed since this testimonial , she has gone on to become one of our primo overnight home hospitality providers for classes at the Oasis Cafe.

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