Learning to identify effective and ineffective communication styles can help you recognize them in yourself. Read the statements below and write in the style of communication each represents. Then practice being assertive in your everyday life: say what you mean, but speak with respect for yourself and for others. If you need help learning this skill, consider taking an assertiveness training course.

1. “Do I have to do everything myself? I told you I needed that report by the end of the day.”
____________________________________________________________________

2. “No one ever pays attention to me. Do you think it’s because I don’t have an outgoing personality?”
____________________________________________________________________

3. “I can understand why you want to go to the party with your friends honey. But we did agree to make this a family night since it is your mother’s birthday.”
____________________________________________________________________

4. “I can’t believe he’s treating me like this. How do I keep ending up with these guys who think they’re God’s gift to women? Did I tell you how his last relationship ended…?”
____________________________________________________________________

5. “I really think it’s time to disclose the proposed merger. Now, I know you disagree, so let’s talk about it some more.”

You’ve begun to build some solid skills for managing stress. Now erect some social and physical buffers, or insulation, against stress. They won’t eliminate stress, but can help you better weather its effects. Creating a balance in your life can cushion you against boredom, isolation, or lack of purpose, and improve your self-esteem. Taking good care of your body can create better protection against the physical assaults of stress.
____________________________________________________________________

6. “Where did you learn how to drive, you idiot! Go take a remedial driving class!”
____________________________________________________________________

7. “Because I said so!”
____________________________________________________________________

8. “Oh, that’s okay. I don’t mind doing the dishes again. I know your favorite program is on. Did you like what I fixed for dinner? Honey…honey?”
____________________________________________________________________

9. “I’d like to talk with you about how I’m feeling in this relationship. Is this a good time to talk?”
____________________________________________________________________