Tami Close, EFT, Fun Coach, Speaker and Author

Self acceptance sure can be challenging, can't it?  I mean, you have to accept all of you, and there are those parts of you that you just have trouble accepting.  And you want to put on your running shoes, and run away from the feelings that you have.  Believe me, I can still put on my running shoes and have them all laced up, and ready to run, but then I put out the stop sign.  STOP!

 

Let's stop right here and talk about the threesome....

 

This sure is a journey for me to totally accept all of me, and the decisions I have made.  You see, I can still judge the decisions I have made, and the results that came from those decisions.  In addition, I can also judge when I'm creating something, and it doesn't net me the results I "think" it should, and I get attached to the outcome.  Thus, I'm resisting what is, and being pretty hard on myself. 

So we have attachment, judgment and resistance (the 3 amigos) that comes up quite frequently throughout our day.  These 3 energies love to dramatize things, and really tweak with our minds, and the conversation may go something like this:  "You know you're not good enough?  You know that things don't ever work out for you?  You know you can't possible trust in the Universal flow?"  Yikes!

What can we do about the triplets?

I think it just comes in steps of each moment, and we get to have a tool handy to use when the triplets are showing themselves.  The intent is not to make them go away, but to face them and invite their comments.  That's why EFT is such a valuable tool.  You get to be with all your thoughts and really be with them in a way that you get to open up a dialogue to communicate how the threesome feels. 

You tap on the points, and then the dialogue can go something like this:

Karate chop point:  Even though I'm having trouble accepting myself, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Eyebrow:  I know I don't have what it takes.
Side eye:  Nothing ever works out for me.
Under eye:  How come things can work out for others, but not for me?
Under nose:  What if I could learn to trust, what would that be like?
Under lower lip:  Maybe I could just allow whatever feelings are here.
Collarbone:  That might work.
Under arm:  It's possible that things are opening up already.
Top of head:  I'm feeling much more calm.

Just allowing the viewpoints to be expressed makes all the difference, and then there is a sense of calm a sense of peace that flows through you.  It does take commitment to be with yourself in this way, and honor the threesome when they want to be heard.  Once you begin doing this, you'll actually look forward to their cute, little voices.

Remember, it's our own energy that will either allow for things that we want to come through or things we don't want.  Thus, the more you can honor the energy that exists, the more you will allow things you want.

And if you desire assistance in this process, and utilizing EFT in a session with me, contact me and mention altmd for the "threesome" discount.

When we have issues surrounding money, it can certainly bring up a lot of stuff, can't it?  And guess what, it's usually attached to something else that we're not even aware of.

When we use EFT (emotional freedom techniques), we can begin to unravel some stuffed memory patterns. In doing this, we can allow money to flow into our lives. 

You know, money flows through us, and allowing patterns to dissolve actually opens up portals that have been closed off.  We think that money is tied to what we do or have:  job, savings account, checking account, retirement, investments.  It does include all of this, but it isn't tied to these things. 

Money is a field of energy, a field of intention, a field of Infinite possibilities, and is just like anything else. When we truly let go and trust in the process of allowing it to flow through us, we create the possibilities that are endless. 

Okay, so we know money is energy and so are we, and it's our relationship with money that allows it to be what it is.  Thus, in any relationship, one has to nurture it in order to have a dynamic relationship.  And this means, that we get to honor the relationship by being real in sharing some frustrating thoughts.  

If money is important to us, and we run from any dialogue with it to understand it, then we just create a relationship that is dysfunctional.  And this may be showing up in other areas of our lives in terms of other relationships. 

A great deal of awareness is around trying to "control and predict" in the time frame we allot for the money to appear.  Our control actually creates resistance in the Universal process as we don't trust that the Universe has our best interest at heart. 

It's an unseen force that exists that comes to our aid, and it's trusting in this unseen force, the unknown, the uncertainty of the flow of life.  We can get so caught up in sensory overload that is attached to our sense of sight, but the number that our eyes are looking at doesn't reveal what is real.  We think the number that we're seeing is real, but it isn't.  It is a field of matter that we're looking at, and under it is essence of Who we really are. 

Thus, when we can use EFT to help tap on the discomfort of our money issues, we will actually begin unraveling all the connections that are attached to the money issues, and we begin to understand it more.  Then portals of possibilities (pops for short) will open up the Infinite channels.

And a reminder to be comfortable with "I don't know" when or how it's going to come.  Money will just ride the "pops" and bring surprises from the unseen world, which is the world of particles that form the matter, which forms the money.  

So be comfortable in being one with money, and share your feelings as it is a true, live energy as is any relationship.  Using the EFT segment in the video will help you tremendously. 

Enjoy your relationship with money! 

You know, recently I was talking to my daughter, who is 25 years old.  I told her that I didn't allow her to express her feelings when she was younger, and I'm just learning to do this as an adult.  I always tried to make things okay, jump in their with a solution, and sugar coat the experience.  Thus, she never got to fully express what she was feeling.  And when the emotion, the energy, doesn't have an outlet, it stays stuffed inside, only to come out at a later time. 

I'm now seeing the bigger picture of what happens when kids don't get to fully express themselves.  That energy stays there through adulthood, just looking for an opening.  We've heard that reference, "He's a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off."  It's because there hasn't been a safe place to express these opposing viewpoints, those thoughts, throughout childhood, and thus, this energy builds and builds until it has to be discharged in whatever fashion it can.

When we safely give children a venue, a sacred space, to release these emotions, we give them permission to be who they are.  We don't deny any part of them, and create a boundary of "these are the only emotions that you can display."  In this total self acceptance, they learn that all emotions are permissible.

Using EFT, along with a stuffed animal, for children creates a comfortable setting in which to release the emotions, the energy, that wants to come out.  Can you imagine having this be a part of the curriculum in schools, and having a space in the classroom to do so? And then carrying that into the home so that full expression is just part of our daily lives.

You could simply show them how to tap on the 8 points, or only a few points, and say something like this:

Even though I'm feeling scared, I'm a great kid anyway.  Even though I don't think I can pass this test, I'm a great kid anyway.

These are just two simple reference points for whatever is inside. 

We can all totally relate to being children, and not thinking that it was okay to express fear because we just didn't think anyone would listen to us "being afraid."  Remember, just simply ignoring it won't cause it to go away.  It's there, and will stay there until it is triggered. 

Using EFT with children sets up a totally different environment in which to convey that all emotions are healthy when given a space in which to do so.  Like Eckhart Tolle says, creating space is the greatest thing we can do for humanity.  

 

Whew!  What do we do with the voices in our head that are in opposition to what we want?  There is a beautiful illustration in which EFT (emotional freedom techniques) can lend a hand to create a Mandorla. 

First, what the heck is a Mandorla?

I just became acquainted with a Mandorla a month ago, and it sure has been duplicating itself in my experience.  So much so that I've now gotten the message :). 

A Mandorla, an Italian word for almond, is an ancient symbol of two circles coming together, and overlapping one another to form an almond shape in the middle.  The Mandorla is also known as the "Vesica Piscis," symbolizing the interactions and interdependence of opposing worlds and forces.  It was used in early Christian times to symbolize the coming together of heaven and earth, of human and divine.

The circles symbolize interacting with complementary opposites. The space within the overlap is the place in which we are called to "remain", the "liminal space" Richard Rohr speaks of.  In this place, you are living on the threshold and this requires faith. All transformation takes place in liminal space.

If we deny one of the opposites, e.g. shadow or ego, the circles may only touch, but they do not intersect. In this situation, we are polarized and out of balance. There is a frame of reference that says when we become wholly integrated, the overlap is total and only one circle appears. 

How does EFT help to create this sacred space?

You tap on the energies (beliefs) that are in opposition to each other, and allow them to be fully expressed.  The viewpoints are allowed to be transformed as they come into the light of your awareness.  With this said, it moves through you into a new realization of wisdom.

If you can stay with the opposites, at the point of their intersection and stay with the conflicting thoughts and beliefs long enough, they will learn from each other, and produce an insight that serves the all.  It will produce new possibilities that won't be tied to win, lose or compromise.

Now, remember, these are all related to fear and the ego and shadow self.  Thus, sometimes it's helpful to just have two opposing sides, and work with them together in tandem.  For example, I want to create a business from home, but I think I need to have a job.  Another example is just working with beliefs that are in purely in opposition to what you want, which are outlined below. 

Even though I don't trust in the flow of life, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I don't think I can create the money that I desire, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I don't have what it take to be successful, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I feel like I'm alone, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. 
Even though I don't feel secure, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. 

The entire point is to be with the energies long enough to be fully heard, and thus, time is a definite requirement, but very worth the time.  New possibilities flow out of the Mandola that otherwise wouldn't have been revealed. 

Just remember that the ego or shadow self want to be heard, and continuing to walk around with them in our heads and not allowing full expression will result in them "coming out" at inopportune times which have nothing to do with the scene that will be created.  Unless full expression is allowed, they will come back to "bite" later.

It's been such a beautiful and emotional experience.  I realize that my fear has just needed a space and voice to express itself.  The fear is part of me, and I'm been trying to squelch it.  Now, that I'm alllowing it to happen, and be what it is, so many wonderful transformations are taking place. 

Enjoy your Mandorla experience!

Have you ever had those conversations going on in your head driving you crazy?  These seem to be endless streams of conversations, and some are intent on being really, really, really being heard.  And they won't stop until they are heard.  Yikes!

What if you decided to have a heart to heart with them so that they are heard.  Once they are heard, and given a voice to express what is being felt, then they lose to their "fight."  And the subsequent "warring" in your head.

There's no need to think about the war going on in other parts of the world.  We have our own war in our head, and it's a war that we have control over and can be won!

Have you ever heard someone speak of the shadow self, the ego?  It's that part of us that is used for protection of some sort, and it will protect us at all costs from feeling any pain.

But what if you could feel its pain and allow it to express what it needs to so that it doesn't have to put its guard up?

Using EFT can help you.  EFT stands for emotional freedom techniques, and you use tapping and some statements as you tap to allow the conflicts to express themselves naturally. 

As an EFT practitioner, I use this for myself, and for my clients.  Here's an example of something that I used recently for me.

I realized that I had conflicts going on in terms of having a coaching business from home as I thought I needed a "regular" job.  Thus, I said the following as I tapped on the 8 energy points:

Even though I think I can't have a coaching business from home and generate money, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I think that I need to have a regular job, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

By allowing these two to come out and express their fears, they have been heard.  Now, they've been heard, they've been helping me realign some things so that clients come to me effortlessly and easily.  And it's working.

How can this work for you?

Until your conflicting shadow selves are heard, what you desire won't come to you as these conflicts have the idea that they are all powerful.  Once they are heard, the light of who you really are expands and opens up many possibilities that were hidden.

Think of two conflicts that you have right now, and tap on them.  It doesn't mean others won't come to the surface.  If they do, then just tap on these as they come up.  It's more about the intuitive process, and being with yourself so that you listen to the internal conversations.

We all have a shadow self, an ego, that can be our ally if we just allow him or her to be recognized and acknowledged.  When you do this, watch out for the unfolding of things that have been waiting to come through.



 

Deep meditations are so powerful because we get to hear a message that is only meant for us.  We get to block out all the noise, and be with our Source Energy in a way that is not constricting the intended message.  Silence is golden, don't you think?

Most recently, I was in a deep meditation, and the message I heard is "You are the right amount."  Being with this message, I quickly understood, and expanded on it with, "You are the right amount of weight.  You are the right amount of love.  You are the right amount of fear.  You are the right amount of income."  You're simply the right amount.

You know, when we don't think we're enough or we should be someone different than what we are in this moment, then the judgment forms a huge tsunami energy, and it can knock us over.  Thus, when we can really say that I'm the right amount at this moment, it sure alleviates any judgment.

Think about this....

During this meditation, an experience came to mind from a previous teleseminar I was on last year.  During this teleseminar, the person facilitating it had an issue with alcohol, and when she could say, "I drink the right amount," it took the edge off that she was drinking too much.  Having said this, she was able to completely dissolve her addiction by removing the judgment.  In addition, she was able to remove the judgment of others as well saying, "You drink the right amount."

Now, look at recipes....

Recipes are designed to have the right amount of the ingredients to make a food item.  The recipe might call for 1 lb of chicken, a 1/2 tsp of salt, a 12 oz can of soup.  All of those ingredients are the right amount because each ingredient represents its own flavor in the whole makeup of the food item. 

The ingredients don't argue with each other, and want to be anything but the right amount of what they offer.  Can you imagine if they did this, and all wanted to be the same?  Yikes!

How does this apply to us?

We all have different emotions, different ingredients in our being, and everything is in the right amount.  If we have fear that comes up, we acknowledge it, and say, "Oh, the fear is here and wants to be heard."  We don't say to our ingredient, "Go away" because that would indicate that the ingredient of fear is not warranted.  And we know we do have fear, and it isn't going to go away, but honoring its flavor in our whole makeup will help the fear know it's valued.

Thus, you can see, everything within you is the right amount, and to be appreciated.  When you appreciate all the emotions that are part of you, you are actually appreciating the whole self.  And when you do this, then you become less fragmented, and the wholeness of who you really are gets the opportunity to expand. 

Isn't it interesting that when we have children, we want to wash out those stains they get on their clothes.  When you think about this, and really be with it, you'll most likely find that the basis for this is judgment.  Because when our children go out into the world and they have stains on their clothes, then we think people will judge us as bad parents.

Let's explore the land of stains....

Kids always get stains, and it's a right of passage to do so.  Those stains represent a much bigger picture than the peephole we're looking through.  Those stains represent growth, an experience, at each stage of childhood.  The stains might say, "This is where my dad took me for ice cream.  This is where I was learning to crawl on grass.  This is where I fell down when I was learning to walk.  This is where I had spaghetti dinner with my family."  Thus, these stains have a hidden message that is a beautiful picture of being in this world.

Now, fast forward to adulthood....

We have the same sort of stains, only they represent learning to grow into who we really are, and learning to walk with God, with our Higher Self, with our Source Energy...whatever the term you use.  Yet, we will look at those stains, again through the peephole of awareness, and judge the stains as "bad."  The adult stains I'm describing are in forms that we consider to be our identity.

The stains of adulthood might say, "This credit card statement is when I was learning to walk with God.  This divorce was when I was learning how to be who I really am.  This health issue was when I was learning to trust.  This job loss was when I was learning to listen.  This credit score was when I was so attached to a thing."

 

You can see that stains in adulthood all reflect an awareness of learning to be in this world just like children, but it encompasses a much greater awareness of non-attachment, non-judgment and non-resistance.  We get so caught up in an egoic mindset of "trying" to be all sorts of things related to our identity of our personality.  And thus, we will bring in things into our experience that will show us that we need to let go of an identity that we thought was real.

The only real identity is our Self, that natural spirit that wants to flow loving energy in this world.  Every time we have an egoic thought, we just bring that thought into our awareness and be with it.  

Let's look at an example....

Look at your credit card statement, and if it reflects a number that doesn't feel good, then your ego is attached to it.  Be with that energy and really feel the feelings that are attached to the statement.  It's not the statement itself because it doesn't have an power in it.  You are the only one that brings it power, and it's your feelings, your reaction to what is.

My recommendation is to be with those feelings, and really express them.  The more you do this, the more that your ego, your identity within that statement, will begin to dissolve.

You can see that stains are to be celebrated because they indicate a deeper message.  Thus, when you look at a stain and are giving it the peephole look, do a double take, and be aware of the mystery that surrounds that stain.  And you might just laugh because you're aware that you just widened the peephole, and are now seeing it differently.

You can contact me if you would like to expand your peephole, and mention altmd for the "peephole" discount.

 

Whew!  It can be very interesting to love what is in the moment, even when that person or that situation is presenting something different.  Yet, it's really a quest of mine to do this. 

As I'm embarking on this journey to embrace the moment and love what is, it is presenting some emotions tied to letting go.  Yet, it is my ego that is not wanting this to happen, and thus is exhibiting all sorts of stuff. 

I would liken it to a child throwing a temper tantrum in not getting his or her way :).  I mean, really when you think about it, a child throws a temper tantrum because it needs attention.  And the ego is similar. 

For you see, the ego seeks its identity in drama and loves the existence of past and future.  With this said, you could see where the ego would create all sorts of temper tantrums as it is feeling the loss of its identity.  I guess you could describe it as identity theft, and it's trying to prevent this at all costs.

When we surrender to what is and allow it to be what it is and love it, then it's acceptance.  When we accept, then we allow the energy to move through us and dissipate into loving recycled energy.  The ego doesn't like acceptance because that is peace, and an egoic attachment doesn't like peace. 

 

Doesn't it sound beautiful to love what is?  Then it takes all the edge off of wanting anything different than what is currently happening in our experience.

It is truly an art form, an energy, that is painting the existence of being vulnerable.  When we're open to only this moment and being vulnerable to the mystery of life, then the energy can calm itself. 

So when you're living in the moment, and feeling whatever it is that comes up, you don't have to suppress anything because you're acknowledging, accepting, loving, not judging, not resisting, not attaching to anything but this moment.  It is the life force of all life forces, and truly the love of your life.

 

 

Have you ever awakened in the middle of the night with worry?  Your whole body feels it, and this emotion acts as if you are dying.  You may sweat and have heart palpitations, and it appears very real.   It's the ultimate Yikeorama :).

You know, I used to wet the bed when I was in grade school.  What I've learned is that my body was experiencing a lot of emotion, and it just happened to release it in this way.  It wasn't always funny for my sister, who just happened to share a bed with me.  Yet I can think of no better way to pay her back for all the mean thngs she did :). 

When you think about wetting your bed in this way, worry does tend to expel itself all over the place in your bed.  If you had a special camera that would be able to capture all the fireworks going on, I'm sure it would display a real "soaking and drenching" of emotion.

I do have a technique you can use, and one you already aware of.....

When you awaken and the emotion of worry is there, allow it to be and just breathe with it.  Worry wants to express itself, and by allowing it to do so, and becoming one with it, it will expel itself through a natural process.  And pretty soon, the worry has been transformed into peace.

Breathing into whatever emotion is there is the most loving thing you can do.  Our ego will want us to hide from our feelings because it wants to protect us.  Why do you think there are multiple personalities?  Simply put, they are subpersonalities utilized for protection.

Do you know how many times I have abided by my ego and not felt whatever I was feeling?  Well, where do these feelings go that aren't expressed?  As stored emotions just waiting for an opportunity to arise. 

I now am fully expressing whatever I feel, and when I wake up and am feeling worried, I just breathe and become one with it.  Really, it's so awesome as when you become one with something, it loses all its "perceived" credibility. 

If you would like some assistance with creating oneness in your life, please contact me and mention altmd.  You'll get the "wet your bed with worry" discount :).