You know, 22 and 25 years ago respectively, I had an incidence of blood clots that were pregnancy related. It was a very painful time in my life, and yet there was something so wonderful that happened as a result.

You see, recently I was thinking in terms of trusting the flow of life and was using EFT to tap on “trust.“ During this experience, I recalled this memory of my blood clots, and how grateful that I am for the natural world, God, Source Energy, Spirit, the essence behind everything that exists. When I had the blood clots, my body through its essence, created another way for the blood to flow. Because the blood clots created a block, my body “naturally” connected to other pathways to sustain the flow.

Unbeknownst to me, this loving assistance was being performed. I didn’t have to plan, predict or guide it. It just happened! The flow was there naturally, and it wasn’t even something that I had to think about.

And thank God, it did. I couldn’t have set up the logistics camp for how this was going to happen. I would have driven myself crazy attempting to plan, organize or predict where I was going to get the blood flow from. Yikes!

How does this analogy work for life in general?

All of this message comes about as I’m becoming fully aware that all my searching, planning, trying and attempting to guide life is impeding the natural process. Life, the essence of all there is, knows exactly how to have things flow through me. It knows there are many pathways, and will choose the one that is right for me in this moment. My “thinking about it” will never be able to deliver it because all this crammed information in the mind is actually working against the Universal flow, and showing up as resistance being created by the thinking.

In this awareness, I’m learning to practice living in the moment ,and fully opening up into trusting in the flow of life. And I’ve experienced meeting my shadow self, my ego, and embracing that she exists. I’ve visited the pain I’ve felt when I’ve allowed my ego to have control over the planning and predicting of how things should occur. This living in past and present can be so exhausting. I’ve told her that she can “simmer down now.” :)

It’s through these experiences with my ego that I’m embracing what is. I used to have a belief that I needed to search for the better feeling place, but I’ve since opened up into a new dimension regarding this topic. Searching for the better feeling place denied the existence of the ego, and I don’t want to deny any part of who I am.

Now, I’m being with my ego, and learning that she just wants to express herself. When a so-called negative emotion is denied and not fully expressed, it doesn’t go away. It stays there until an event or person triggers the memory, and then it reveals itself again. And it only wants to be acknowledged and accepted.

Thus, I’m now experiencing a much greater awareness of how I’ve denied my ego her right to full expression. I feel her pain and acknowledge her existence. Through this, I have expanded into the wholeness, and totality of all I am, and not just part of me….the parts I wanted to accept. I am accepting all of me, and this is true self-acceptance. I am loving what is!

I am learning to trust in the flow of life, and learning to trust in the moment of all there is. I’m becoming more comfortable with uncertainty and the unknown, and sometimes using EFT to tap on the awareness.

You know something, I’m much more at peace through adopting this process of living in this moment. EFT has been helpful to tap on this as well, “I’m learning to trust in this moment. I‘m learning to be at peace.“

On a similar and funny note, I realize that I’ve had many people join me in the shower. Even though my body is present in the shower, my mind has created many people joining me as my thoughts have this steady stream of dialogue. Thus, I’m slowing myself, and paying attention to the shampoo on my head, my fingers massaging it on my scalp and the water as it flows down on my body.

It takes practice , and yet it’s fun to play this game from a new awareness….

There is a natural flow to life, and when I recalled the blood clots experience, I definitely am so grateful. If I had to plan where I was going to get my blood flow to sustain my life, I know that I wouldn’t be here today. That, in and of itself, is enough for me to let go and go with the flow, which is al-ways occurring behind the scenes, orchestrating everything so that I don’t have to. And I mean “everything, “even those appearances that look on the surface as a negative experience.

It’s like having our own automatic pilot, and we just get to release the “controls.” I can imagine the conversation that ensued amongst this natural flow while I was in the ER, “Okay, we’re going to step in because if we wait on her, knowing how much she “thinks,” she may create her own demise, and we have plans for her.” Humorous picture, right?

Incidentally, the peace I mentioned earlier is familiar. When I had my first occurrence with the blood clots, I had a near death experience, and I felt such tremendous peace. Even though in the ER, there was frantic behavior, and nurses shouting, “We’re losing her and the baby‘s heart rate is dropping,” I felt nothing but peace, and surrendered to what is.

It’s hard to describe “peace,” as it is the backdrop, the essence of life itself. Like Eckhart Tolle says, “Once you describe something, you have labeled it, and made it into an object and created form.”

Peace is formless, the Being, of which we emanate from, behind thoughts and emotions. Thus, you can say, “I am the formless flow of life and nothing less.” Beautiful, isn’t it?